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November 30, 2008

the buck stopped here

Laying on the couch, fire dancing in the woodstove, a chill in the night air of late fall. A clatter on the back deck picques my curiousity, but I'm too comfortable under my blankie to get up. The clatter ceases.

Some time later, the clatter again - louder. My imagination soars. A bear seeing fit to rearrange things on the deck? Wouldn't be the first time one had come to visit.

I rise from my warm cocoon and flip a switch on the wall. The warm glow of a lamp in the loft casts a misty light across the deck, and there before me stands a most beautiful, majestic four-point buck. He stands at alert for a moment, then hooves make the familiar clatter as he makes his way into the security of the dark night.

We've seen him with a doe and fawn often, nesting by the pond at the edge of the woods just outside the front door. He's looking for a warmer nest for the winter, and our deck, nestled inside the south-facing courtyard of our U-shaped home, provides warmth and protection.

I am pleased to see him again, and marvel that he'd feel safe enough to come right up to our home. Heart smiles.

A couple of days later, repeat performance but in mid-afternoon. This time I am working upstairs in the loft when the clatter begins. I make my way down the stairs and come face to face with the buck through sliding glass doors.

Breathtakingly beautiful lines in his face, colours in his fur. A moment of peaceful gratitude in my day.

He's in no hurry to leave. Meanders off, only after he's investigated the scent of apples in the crate just outside the door.

I am thankful for the visit - a reminder to stop now and again and be peaceful.

November 01, 2008

sacred space

I enter my space this morning. My sanctuary, my haven. It has been a comfort to me - a single space where I alone choose what accompanies me in my space. A clear, clean, peaceful place creativity and quiet.

But I look around - I've been so busy, so occupied, I haven't noticed... my space is not clear nor quiet at the moment. Clutter has dented the typically strong sense of tranquility. What happened?

In the dim hours between nighttime and dawn, candlelight brings glow to my sacred space, renewing a sense of clarity within. It is time for a clearing and cleaning. Re-create my sacred space once again. Return to a sense of gentleness, balance and harmony.

I draw a Spirit Circle card from each deck:

Reclaiming Sacred Space - Yes, of course I'd draw this card. Heart smiles. The Universe knows.

I do not hold grudges. I am releasing anger and resentment. - It doesn't matter in the least how or why the clutter got here, or who put it here. What sense does it make for me to dwell senselessly on what doesn't matter? Instead, I bring my focus to the beauty. Simply invite sacred harmony in to my heart, my space - in this moment.

Yes, the Universe knows.

October 05, 2008

at the heart of peace

Beautiful video found on a friend's site inspires me to share it here.

February 03, 2008

sacred morning

I awaken to the sound of silence. Peaceful, blissful soul stillness. The world has not yet awakened, except for a lone raven's call from high in the cedars.

I rise without a word, thankful for the quietness. In meditative moments of mindfulness and solitude, I feed the animals, care for the plants. Mindful walking. Mindful drinking - yin/yang water. Mindful collecting firewood and stoking the morning fire. Mindful of contributing to the stillness, not crashing over it.

I do not speak; morning is a time for silence. My actions are gentle, my steps non-intrusive.

Awareness and thankfulness of BE-ing stillness in the sacred Morning.

September 16, 2007

silence

I listen to gentle pattering of rain droplets on the windows in this little cabin. The most enchanting blooms of perfect pink roses grow on wild bushes out back. For endless years of city living, my heart ached to live in the woods in a small log cabin. My spirit is in paradise.

A few moments of solitude this morning in silence. Well... near silence. Small, twittering birds dance amongst the tiny, cool rain-mist droplets with soft little chirps, while the clock on the kitchen wall takes advantage of the quietness, making itself known with an increasingly louder monotony of tick tocks. The harder I try to not hear it, the louder the ticking seems to be.

What a joy to be able to remove the battery!

Not so with my thoughts, nor with the habitual 'white noise' in my ears from too much time spent with no time for silence. Like the clock, my thoughts and my busy-ness also grow louder as I try to not listen to them. Giving my attention and effort to avoiding them gives them power, because attention is attention, no matter what kind.

So I gently take my attention elsewhere, to the silence, to the heartfull thankfulness for where I am in this moment. Eyes open yet 'resting', I breathe in deep, cleansing breaths. I breathe out affirmation of my trust in the Universe that everything is exactly in the place it needs to be.

I do not try to rid myself of the thoughts nor the busy-ness. I do not try anything. I simple breathe and Be.

Silence.

And finally, I am quiet.

August 29, 2007

balance

I write this by the light of the just-full moon. It sets in the clearest western sky as the sun rises to the east. Beautiful and enchanting blend of balanced energy.

Balance... I am reminded to find what is important for my own personal balance and nurture it.

Brain challenges... creative expression.
Devoted work hours... dedicated time for play.
Solitude... family time.
Laughter... tears.
Heated passion... gentle softness.

Love... and love.

July 28, 2007

the divine wisdom of perfect timing

A flurry of deaths and uncertain lifespans within the space of a few short weeks. I observe the chaos of reactions around me, and I attempt to maintain my own silence. I find myself tempted to react too. I come close to being drawn into the chaos, but retreat from it just in time. Why bother? What good will it do?

I am here do what needs to be done. I make my own decisions instead of resenting others for trying to take control. My walk is my own; I honour it and celebrate it with gentleness.

So I return to the Silence and wait. Do what is in front of me. Observe. Wait some more.

And in the Silence I find peace.

There is no reason to push the river. Everything is happening in it's own perfect timing. Look past the illusion of "right" or "wrong" timing, and honour the natural flow of things.

Aho.

July 11, 2007

doing

Breathing in the warm, humid summer morning, I feel energized. Lots to do this week, and I am enjoying being mindful while I'm "doing". Not getting lost in the doing, but paying attention to it. Breathing in it, and breathing it in.

I am not what I do.

June 24, 2007

downpour

Sudden downpour. A summer storm pummels raindrops to the ground in a heavy blanket of near-solid water. I stop what I'm doing to simply observe this powerful, amazing force of nature. Listening to the tap-dancing of hail on the skylights and the distant rumblings of thunder in the distance. For a few moments, I am completely in the here and now as this downpour commands my complete attention and awe.

Do I really need a sudden downpour, or any other event, to break my busy-ness and bring my attention into the moment?

I am reminded to take moments throughout my days in peaceful observance of Now. Not doing. Just BEing in the moment. Then I can be still.

June 15, 2007

transformation

Sitting in my loft office, telephones ringing, computers humming, ideas swirling, deadlines looming. Awareness of pressure building. I walk outside.

Into the pasture, wandering amongst the tall grasses. Mind whirring. I breathe in deeply, turning my face to the sunshine. Eyes closed, blissful and soothing. Lovely.

Another deep breath, inhaling the scent of summer meadow. Relaxing. Another breath, the mind slows. Deeper breaths, deeper relaxation.

I sit where I am, almost buried beneath the tall stand of overgrown grasses. Gentle breezes tickle my face with the tips of the grass. Delightful. Nearby the grasses are flattened; a bed where a doe and fawn have been sleeping at night.

I watch the grasses around me. The way they bend in the slight breeze. Eyes focus on each strand, observing the greenness of each blade. A new level of awareness as I catch the tiny movement of bugs on the ground. Almost invisible threads of spider's silk come into my awareness, floating on the currents of warm air, desination unknown.

Eyes focus on the movements of this tiny world, and I am transformed.

Conscious walking, I venture back to my loft office, ready to return to my duties with gentleness.

January 21, 2007

the beauty way

I walk with beauty before me.
I walk with beauty behind me.
I walk with beauty around me.
As I walk the Beauty Way.

My thoughts will all be Beautiful.
My words will all be Beautiful.
My actions will all be Beautiful.
As I walk my life the Beauty Way.

~ adaptation of a Navajo prayer for peace and harmony


November 30, 2006

enlightenment

Mystical and magical experiences are so often used to divert our attention from what IS. They are not enlightenment, nor will they lead to it. The ego that is the illusion of the separate Me runs and dances and plays in the magic while hiding from the Truth that IS. Beyond the illusion, I watch the dance and play and see that it is all illusion, and I find Truth.

Enlightenment is beyond the illusion, quite ordinary.

November 28, 2006

the observer

From the centre of stillness, I watch my self participate in the illusion, this story I've created for myself. I question why I feel so defensive of it, though it brings pain. A thought asserts itself within me, "How's that workin' for ya?" The celebrity voice of Dr. Phil resounds in my "inner" ear. Of all the wise sages here and gone, annoyance that it is he who comes to me, then relaxing into the humour of it as I real-eyes my own seriousness.

I need not question any further, just BE in this moment.

September 13, 2006

rest

"Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass on a summer day listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is hardly a waste of time."

~ Sir J. Lubbock

August 17, 2006

acceptance

"Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it."

August 03, 2006

quiet walk

Yesterday I shared conversation with a younger version of me. The whirlwind passion of youth, the courage and excitement of finding her own way to walk the path. Her visit brings awareness of my own walk. No longer am I searching, seeking, striving, forging through obstacles with the determination and vigor of my younger years. Instead, I sit. I listen. I am quiet, and in the quiet I open and soften.

July 28, 2006

now-ness

Movement all around me. Coming and going. A mouse. Four humans. Two cats. And a streetfull of vehicles.

I observe. I breathe in. I observe some more.

Conscious living. Awareness of all around me, and all within me. I consciously sidestep "monkey mind", leaving it behind for these moments of Now-ness. Wondrous Now-ness.

When does wondrous become ordinary?